I'm sure there are many clients out there who opt for a covered oral PSE. There are many other services you can provide to create your own package that's tailored to how you want to work and to the clients you wish to attract. You are right this topic does cause a bit of a stir in our community. My view on it is you only ever do what you are comfortable with and what you want to. If you are happy to take the higher risk for a reward then No one has the right to judge that decision.
It's your business, your body and your choice alone. You should never feel pressured in any way to do anything you are not comfortable with.
I actually really enjoy CIM and it makes love my job more. In saying that I do not do it with every client who books a PSE, so the actual service is not as frequent as some may assume. If I ever feel my sexual health is at risk, I don't see the client.
I could decide to start including uncovered services, I know regular health checks can pick up any nasties and prevent them from being passed on although some STI unfortunately stay with you for life and can potentially make your sex life more difficult. I would rather avoid the embarrassment of possibly contracting an STI, having to go to the pharmacy for meds and potentially take time of work, for me personally it's just not something I am comfortable providing at this point in time. I'm not sure I could be a PSE provider using a condom for oral, I would be competing against almost all PSE providers that include an uncovered blow job.
I have thought about adding some safer PSE services such as greek. Just quickly I do think you could offer PSE covered with no problems at all. Many clients prefer to only see workers who provide covered oral. You have yourself a niche market! GFE or girl friend experience is a package that usually includes oral, massage and full service. Some workers do include a bit more also. PSE or porn star experience can be described in a few ways.
Some request it because they want to fuck like a porn star, some request for the additional services. The majority of PSE services tend to be Cum in mouth, anal, role-plays and some kinky services. Each provider tends to tailor their PSE to include the extra services they provide. I came out as a worker a few weeks ago to my Dad and Sister.
I just got off the phone to my Dad who was asking me a few things I thought I should share here. Other than my sexual health, my Dads greatest concern about me working in the industry and mentoring was my safety from other businesses who might see me as a threat somehow.
His actual comment was "what if the men from the other corner come and break your legs" I know how bad that sounds. I love my Dad and I know he is trying to understand my decision to be a worker, however I think he failed to recognise his own stigma in this conversation. I calmly explained to him that not all sex workers are affiliated with pimps, bikies and drugs.
Not all sex workers conduct their business from the street. Some do and that's totally fine if that's what they want. I highly doubt the man who runs the coffee shop on the corner is going to come break my legs I do make a good coffee though!
I think from memory I remember you mentioning that someone found you as an escort and am wondering how you came to the decision to eventually show your face after this incident. Did you find business increase with showing your face as opposed to when you were not? Do you think it has helped your success in that from showing your face you were able to become high profile from posing in publications etc.
Yes I was discovered as an escort when I use to blur my face. This person was not the nicest and tried to finically gain from my secret by means of blackmail. Although a shitty situation, it was one of many reasons why I decided to show my face. The main reason was that I had decided I wanted to make this work my career. It was very hard to start with, I was concerned about my safety and the potential aftermath of loosing friends and family. It has taken a little while to not let others negative attitudes and opinions impact me.
At the time I had a very supportive partner who encouraged me to do what I wanted and I wanted to come out. The change for me was massive, all of a sudden I didn't have to pretend to be a person that I wasn't.
I was happy being out and proud to show my face. I am liking that so many more workers are starting to come out publicly as well. The more people coming out and starting discussions helps our industry rid of stigma in many ways.
In saying that, not everyone is in the position to do that and that's ok too. It's a personal choice. I think showing my face has helped my business grow.
I highly doubt I would have had the opportunity to be in publications without showing my face xx. My ex was another sex worker who had already been through the process of showing face and coming out to the family xx. That is a very multifaceted question, I personally feel these laws are archaic and no longer reflects the changing attitude towards our profession. Such laws are in much need of reform. In South Australia sex work is deemed a criminal offence. A worker is not allowed to legally work and therefore they must operate outside the law.
This means they have no legal protection in our system. I have provided a link below with a small break down of the SA laws from the Scarlet alliance website:. In order to convict the aggressor this worker will need to out herself to the police with the potential repercussions of being charged her self for providing an illegal service and running an illegal brothel.
I'm sorry some awful person blackmailed you but I'm glad you used it to your advantage, I think the same happened with Christine McQueen maybe perhaps not the blackmail but she very outed to the public, I think she also used to blur her face although it was some time ago before she was Christine McQueen.
Unfortunately being outed happens all to often. Some people can just be so cruel to others about it. I wasn't aware Christine had something similar happen. It's good to see she has done so well for herself also. I think no matter what job I would be doing right now I wouldn't have a significant other. I am Just not at that place at this time in my life. That is not to say I wouldn't reach that place in the future.
Yes, my job does make dating difficult. I find it more difficult to be open and honest with those I hardly know to start a relationship. Confiding you engage in this line of work with others can be very scary. You leave yourself vulnerable not only to rejection but also to harm. You never know how another person is going to react to knowing you are a sex worker. It's a very personal decision to choose to open up this manner. My clients treat me with the upmost respect.
I am very blessed to screen my own jobs and choose who I wish to see. Not everyone has that opportunity. Attempting to discount or pressure for services that are not listed or I have confirmed I am not comfortable providing. I wish I knew how run my business privately and safely from the get go. All of the not so lovely experiences I had was while working for someone.
I like getting to know and selecting my clients. Some prefer agency and some prefer private. It really comes down to how you wish to work. Do you have a safety net? Do you have the full time ability to screen your clients and answer your phone and emails? Will you take the time to get to know your market? Where and how to advertise etc. Many workers chose to work for an agent because being as escort is not their primary occupation. They don't have the time or the resources to work independently.
Family, study and other work commitments may not leave you without enough time to run your own business. If you do choose to work for an agent make sure you do your homework and pic one that offers the right business solution for you.
Your other option is to buddy up with a mentor who can teach you the ins and outs of working privately and pass on the knowledge they have already gained to you. This is a very dangerous situation. I actually tweeted about this the other day. I believe some states like South Australia enforce the worst kind of victim blaming laws if a sex worker is assaulted or requires assistance.
Depending on where you are based there are community groups that can guide you through understanding what your rights are. I have listed a few Australian groups below for you. I have an addiction to true crime and science podcasts and shows. I really enjoy learning new things about the world and the people who are in it.
This hobby is a contributing factor in my decision to pursue law. I do also love creative writing. I haven't had as much time lately to do this but I do try to make as much time as possible. I read plays and I have myself written a few. I also like writing short stories. When I am not working I love exploring restaurants and cocktail bars. A good dirty martini is my favourite drink. I love cooking and hosting dinner parties.
Hopefully with reducing my touring in the next year I will have more time to do this as well. I'd also love to read some of the plays you've written! Hey Vivienne, thanks for your answers so far and I hope you continue to make good progress with your father and with becoming a lawyer. I personally hate law lol. How much of Vivienne is the real you, or how much of you is Vivienne?
Do you work hard to keep your work and personal lives separate or is there much cross-over? Is the person clients see the real you? As a provider and a female I'm assuming your hetero, sorry if I'm wrong , have you ever been on the other side of the table and hired an escort? Do you think there is much demand for hetero male sex workers? Thank you for your questions. I hope to make so decent progress too!
I have answered your questions below:. The person the clients meet is me. Vivienne and myself are the same person, there is no act or mask I wear. Admittedly Vivienne is a little but more confident and cocky than my actual self in daily life, but that's really the only difference.
I have a lot of cross over, however the main thing I do keep seperate is not inviting clients into my personal life. I do like to keep a clear distinction between personal and professional. No worries about the assumption. My sexuality is rather fluid and is constantly changing, if I had to label myself I would say I am bi-sexual. I have hired other female SW in the past.
Once with a partner at an establishment in Sydney, the other on my own in Hong Kong. My experience in Hong Kong was mind blowing! I booked a local woman for an erotic massage. I have to say this ranks very high on one of my best sexual experiences so far. I would be very keen to see her again.
I have always wanted to hire a male escort, I guess I just haven't found the right one just yet to do that. I am actually really good friends with a few male workers here in Australia, I don't feel comfortable hiring them as wish to remain anonymous. I do believe the demand is growing for straight male escorts.
With more and more content coming into the media regarding women's sexuality, I feel more women are opening up to the idea of engaging with a sex worker. I suppose as well with women being more free choose what they spend their money on, they are choosing an experience solely focused on their pleasure. I think you can contact mods for other subreddits for advice but here's an example of someone posting something to a different subreddit. Watching porn is degrading to women.
Soliciting sex workers is misogynistic and encourages sexual exploitation and trafficking. Desiring to have lots of sex with different women brands you a sleazebag. Can you help me out? How do you feel about these messages coming from people who claim to be taking the moral, progressive, high ground? Firstly thank you so much for your amazingly in depth questions and comments.
You have really hit the nail on the head with some major controversial issues currently being debated around the globe. I am going to try my hardest to answer all of these the best I can. I think everything has a time and a place. Sometimes acting on impulses or thoughts that make another feel negative in some way can be very damaging.
We all need to try and be aware of how our actions can impact others. Treat those how you wish to be treated. With your examples you have given, let me throw in some alternative views. There is nothing wrong with watching ethically produced porn. When I say ethical I mean whilst is was being created, was anyone taken advantage of or used for its production?
If consenting adults are agreeing to provide you with a naughty film to watch then what is the harm? Porn comes in many different categories, usually each scene enacting a fantasy in someway.
I don't think porn is the problem at all, there has been variations of porn throughout history. Roman frescos, ancient dildos and Victorian era cartoons to name some. So it's not that we are interested in watching that's the issue, it's how we react or reenact porn in real life that is. I will admit I have had to discuss this with some clients. The way they wanted to touch me, play with me or handle me in a booking was not pleasant. I found when talking to them about it, it was because they saw it done like that in porn and thought that is what I would enjoy.
Learning from watching porn rather than from experimenting with partners can be damaging. Especially here in Australia for adolescents, as secretly watching pornography can be the only sexual education they are exposed to. In term the same kinds of arguments can be made for your comment about soliciting sex workers.
It is a hard and sad truth that there are many in this world who are trafficked and taken advantage of daily. Our society needs to be made aware of that, we all need to do things to ensure we don't aid that practice in anyway. If you find she hasn't, tell someone who can help. If anyone sees the term sex worker and automatically assumes forced prostitution, they are apart of the stigma against workers who choose to work. Everyone loves a compliment but some compliments are unwarranted or once again not in the correct context.
This behaviour cannot be excused as boys being boys, this makes unsafe spaces for women. Everyone should also be aware that this happens to men too.
The best advice would be read others body language, listen to their words, See if they reciprocate The above article also makes note of sending unsolicited pictures of male anatomy or inappropriate comments when the female in question is not interested, it then goes on to discuss how men usually respond in a violent way when rejected. Unfortunately I myself have been exposed to this behaviour as I am sure many other men, women and workers have too.
I find the majority of men good eggs, however there are definitely enough out there making unsolicited and unrequited advances for this to be an issue. I do actually believe certain kinds of marketing are damaging to both women's and men's self body image. Unrealistic representations and subliminal campaigns are aimed to pressure individuals to confirm to unhealthy body ideals and expectations. It's easier in the digital age to be surrounded by these unrealistic body types thanks to photo shop and other applications.
Once again this isn't a new concept. In history people have been represented in ways that they wanted to be seen by society. Greek statues were more chiseled and in renaissance paintings the artists made people look younger or more athletically pleasing for their time.
We have always done this, we always want to look like our best self, the only issue is we are completely absorbed in it today and judge others based on our conditioned disposition to beauty. I think people who believe they "suffer" here do perform niceness with the expectation of eventual reward. You can't expect just from being friends with a person that they will one day change their mind to engage sexually with you.
People who perform niceness with expectation are affectively commandeering an individuals comfort and safety and holding it for ransom. I do not consider myself a victim at all, although I know some people do see me that way. This just ties back into the stigma that surrounds sex work as mentioned in this AMA. You have also mentioned stigma towards men and how they can be seen as bad people wanting such services.
I believe people shouldn't feel ashamed for wanting love, support and affection. When did we start making others feel bad because they want and desire something so normal and needed? The suggestion that I am used sexually in anyway that I have not consented to is insulting.
Technically all I am doing is providing a service that rents my time to clients. With all this said I can understand your confusion.
Each individual has their own interpretation of what being sex positive is about. We can't all agree and we have our own things we dislike which we could see as negative, yet another finds it positive. The best thing to remember is to not yuck some else's yum. Trying to find the unanimous decision in that is murky water at best. I believe It's not wrong to want to engage in sexual activity or have sexual thoughts, but remember to keep the time and place in mind.
Just because it's something you want, that doesn't mean the other person does. Being aware of that I think is really important to helping some men and women understand why their advances are coming off in the wrong way. That is a true recognition of respect. Thank you very much for your thoughts on the matter. Allow me please to respond to a few of your points. Those two sentences are both true, yet nowadays, seem to be very much in conflict.
For instance, consider the next issue you responded to:. I, and I think most decent people, understand the normal boundaries of when these behaviors are inappropriate. However, this behavior has become such a touchy subject of late, and the accusations that you can be subject to if you misinterpret the situation and do give an unwelcome comment are so severe, that it has basically scared me off from ever doing such a thing anymore.
And besides, how would anyone even be able to know this for sure? The ironic thing is that the stigma is not really about sex itself, but about not being a socially conscious consumer of sex! Threading this needle has just become so complicated and burdensome for us. As someone who really does care about treating others well, and countering harmful societal attitudes and behaviors towards women, I understand the very real concerns that have given rise to these censorious attitudes.
But I also feel that they have created a culture of fearfulness and negativity in regards to sexuality and male-female interactions.
From my vantage point, it seems that the playfulness, acceptance and experimentation that should be a part of flirting, sex, and all our other naughty activities has been replaced with so much paranoia and nervous tight-rope walking about taking a very wrong step. I am afraid you may have me a little out of my depth in this line of questioning lovely. I don't think I can solely address and solve how to fix negative messages or the interpretation of them.
There are so many and they can all be interpreted in many ways. Each individual is so different and what can work for some will not work for others.
I am really sorry to hear you feel your interactions with the opposite sex have to be so guarded, it's not the greatest situation to be in.
Although I am maybe not the best to discuss with in regards to this, may I suggest another who I think would just love to converse with you? Have you heard of Dan Savage? This line of questioning sounds right up his ally. He hosts a podcast you can write in or call in with your questions. I think he may be much better at shedding some light here.
My statement in regards to "ethical" porn is a slippery slope at best I know this. As a consumer of porn you can research a little more on the companies who create what you are watching and the performers they choose to cast. Getting to know who is in the porn can help put your mind at ease as to assuring they want to be there. Many performers and companies now interact on social media.
Their views and support for the industry are big signs of their "ethical" approach. Here in Australia we have a multitude of performers who are actively educating porn users by use of blogs and social media. The same level of research can be taken as well when finding a sex worker. Ask questions, read their sites. Being a little bit more involved in this community might shed a bit more light with that. There is so many other topics we could get into with this discussion.
I do have a lot more I could add but I think we could be here for years: What exactly is gilding? I had heard about this, but never really knew what it was or what benefit it gives the recipient.
And how does one gild another? Don't worry, it's different from gelding! Look up reddit gold for the benefits. It means another user puts their money where their mouth is and agrees with a post so much they support it financially.
Yes, I do pay taxes Trying to persuade others to see sex work as real work means the majority of my peers and I are trying to establish legitimate businesses. In order to manage how the outside world perceives us we are changing how we conduct our business from the inside so we can be recognised as professional. Unless things have changed recently, as far as I am aware you do not need to show a proof of income to apply for a ABN and business name.
I have attached a link for you below:. Once you have your business name and ABN set up you can apply for a business account with a bank. Ask for your personal details to be suppressed.
Depending on your end goals you may even be better off applying for an ACN company. As a company you have more privacy options to suppress your details. If you are struggling to set it all up, I would suggest speaking to an accountant who can help determine which option would best suit you. Also talking to an accountant will aid you in determining which industry you would like have your new business or company operating in. Different options have different tax deductions and benefits and you may need some guidance in choosing which will work best for you.
In the mean time dan murphies and amazon online gift cards can be purchased by clients and emailed to your account. These gift cards usually take 30 minutes to be sent to you. These are a great option for last minute requests and international deposits. You also can use these gift cards without providing your real name to clients. I've been thinking about starting escorting for a while. I prefer to work as an independent escort rather than for an agency.
Unfortunately, I have some questions regarding safety and other aspects before I even get it started. I really appreciate the opportunity you've given. As far as I know, in-call services are illegal in the state where I live.
I feel it's quite risky to go to a client's residence. Besides screening bookings really carefully, what else do you do to make sure you'll be safe?
As I know, most girls only accept cash payment. But I find it's rather hard to ask client for money in an appropriate and delicate way. How do you usually handle it without making clients feel uncomfortable? Thanks for reaching out. I am more than happy to answer your questions. Obtaining as much information as you can before you decide to start is wise.
There are so many variables in as many situations that turn a booking from a happy one to a scary one. Understanding your risks and taking steps to avoid trouble is key to maintaining a safe work space for yourself. I personally do not visit clients houses unless I have known them for a while. For me I find visiting a private residence anxiety producing and in turn the booking for me is not enjoyable.
I also prefer to minimise any potential risk or harm that could come to me. Being based in Sydney, I can provide In call and I do here. Unfortunately some of our state laws are just downright stupid and those workers trying to work within these laws are put in harms way by them. I know other workers who do travel to houses and apartments.
They each have their own security measures that suit them for reassurance. Deposits are usually requested and photos of the clients ID showing an address and full name. I would also request a photo of a bill to prove the name and address match. Maybe ask for a reference as well from another worker the client has seen. If at anytime your instinct tells you not go or to leave immediately, trust that. Your instinct is your biggest protector. Scarlet Alliance has a great break down of states laws and I have attached the link below for you:.
Yes you can ask a client to book a room in his name. When you do out calls to hotels ask for the clients room number and name to call ahead to the room. This verifies the name is correct and you can also quickly listen to see if there is more than one person in the room.
This also can confirm your client is real and not wasting your time. Put into place a buddy system. Always let your buddy know when you have arrived, collected your money and when you have left the job. Let them know the address of where you are going. I have a PA for this, before that a small group of workers who all looked after each other. Make it known in all your ads that the financial stuff has to be done within the first 5 minutes.
I usually welcome my client, have a drink and a chat to relax. Then I ask to do my visual sexual health check. Once that is all good I ask them to have a shower and if they have an "envelope" for me. When they are in the shower, take a few minutes to check it is all there and place it somewhere safe and out of sight. Do not leave it lying around. If the client has given you the incorrect amount you will have to bring this up in discussion before the service.
Make sure you don't take your full wallet with ID that show your full name an address. It's best air with caution. You don't want any stalker surprises later down the track. Yes I have had a few uncomfortable situations. Putting into place your screening and deposit policy and sticking to them is really important for your safety. Take self defence classes and know how to protect yourself. Learning how to engage with people and how to defuse heated situations may save your life.
I have mentioned a bad situation in another post in here already. Each week fluctuates depending on where I am touring and how much I want to work. I never work if I don't want to, it's bad for your mental health to push yourself like that. You do a lot of touring with your job. I do tour a lot, sometimes a bit too much. I am not going to know what an Earth to do with myself just staying in one place ;.
I make time when I tour to go out and enjoy the culture and city. Even if it is just for breakfast or a quick lunch on a busy day.
I am hoping to add a few international cities by the end of this year. Your job does sound intriguing indeed. My question might be a bit off topic, yet I just have to ask: If you were to be stranded on a lonely island, which three things would you be taking with you and why?
Thank you in advance, Miss Vivienne. Taking some time out to be stranded on a very lonely island actually sounds like a great holiday! I do think I would get bored of my own company after a while. Three things I would take:. Oh, I can tell you how much I would have loved to share that little piece of earth with you too A man can dream. I have another question: What do you love most about your job and what do you hate most about it?
Sex work just like any other work has it's perks and it's short comings. Just like any other job we have good days and bad ones too! I love so many things about my job I would honestly struggle to name them all. A few of the best would have to be meeting new people, opportunity to travel, money and working for myself. These good outweigh the bad, however the bad is still there. Surprisingly travel comes up in both good and bad.
I have toured so much I have felt a bit depleted in the past. You learn very quickly about the importance of pacing yourself so you don't crash and burn. So much energy and time goes into planning a successful tour. Some other of my least favourite things would be people deliberately wasting my time for their enjoyment and disrespectful clients who attempt to push your boundaries.
You said in an early question you told some of your family and I was just wondering if you could share information regarding how you informed those around you that you are a SW? And did any of those reactions surprise you? My mother has suspected I was up to something. She has met a lot of my friends over the years who are now out and proud as SW.
Many in publications and on TV. Just before Christmas she came to my apartment and I forgot to hide the signed Dita Von Tease coffee table book that is signed to "Vivienne Black".
She asked me if that was me and I said no. I was in shock, I wasn't ready to talk about it. Since then I have seen her a few times but we have yet to discuss everything in detail. That's an up and coming conversation planned in the next few weeks.
She is reaching out to meet up with me, so I think she is ready to learn about my other life now too.
My friends I told overtime over the past few years usually face to face. Many of them had already suspected and were just waiting for me to tell them in my own time. Some had no clue. The first person I told many years ago was my high school best friend. At this time in our early 20's we were still best friends. Since then we have drifted apart and do not talk. The last conversation I had with her she told me she couldn't be friends with me anymore as she didn't agree with me sleeping with married men.
I don't really understand her objections and reasoning she raised as they do not impact her directly in anyway, but I do respect her decision if she isn't comfortable being around me. It did hurt a lot to loose her in my life but I wish her all the best.
This was the reaction that most surprised me. I wouldn't call it courage, more impatience. I just got fed up with lying and feeling like my lie was alienating me from the people I wish to be the most honest with.
I got to the point where I knew if they rejected me I would feel hurt, but at least I would know and could move on. Coming out has been liberating and calming. I can already feel my relationships with those still around me growing stronger. Most of my friends don't care, the only worry about my safety and that's a justified concern to have. In fact most reactions that express concern are in regards to safety.
I have talked to each person about how I operate my business to reduce potential harm that could come my way and assure them if I ever need anything I will let them know. Thank you for your answer, it means a lot! I'm glad you were able to come out about being a SW and it sounds like your family is coming around which is great to hear!
You said you told your sister, I have two little sisters who mean everything to me and I'm worried that they might not except what I do.
Were you worried about this too? I hope all goes well with telling your mum. I also wanted to ask how you came up with your name? And how you came about being a SW when you first got into it? My little sister has been the most interactive and supportive.
I am blessed to have her in my life, she is true champion! I always loved the name Vivienne Vivien Leigh. I love old Hollywood and a lot of the other names were in use at the time.
Black sounded a bit mysterious I guess. It took me about three months to set on it. I started working for an agency in Sydney whilst at university. I was sick of trying to make ends meet and live comfortably. Hi Vivienne, did you ever think on using your skills to provide sex coaching, or sexual life enhancements for couples?
When a woman's long-time friend reveals he's engaged, she realizes she loves him herself and sets out to get him, with only days before the wedding. A British woman is determined to improve herself while she looks for love in a year in which she keeps a personal diary. A reporter is assigned to write a story about a woman who has left a string of fiances at the altar. Spending the summer at a Catskills resort with her family, Frances "Baby" Houseman falls in love with the camp's dance instructor, Johnny Castle.
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He does so because he wants to have a professional who would be committed to the work, yet not have any commitments to her after the week is over. Beyond their chance encounter, What is it about this movie that made it such an instant mega smash when it was released?
I'm not sure if it's The incredible chemistry between Gear and Roberts, the smart dialog, the storyline-combination of all of the above-etc etc. Pretty woman is great. I enjoyed every moment of this and have seen it many times. I haven't read any IMDb reviews of this yet, I wanted to comment first. This is a lovely story of hope and the true purity of falling madly in love-there are so many movies that try to be romantic and inevitably come across looking forced and contrived.
The story and acting in Pretty woman, while very obviously being "Hollywood" to a tee, are so natural and free flowing, that it's just a joy to watch this. It's also great to see in what's not usually the case a romantic comedy that gets it right, in every area from casting to dialog to pretty much everything from start to finish. Explore popular and recently added TV series available to stream now with Prime Video.
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|Vivian black escort prostitutes numbers||Female Guest Gary Greene Do you ever have clients that want to 'save you from your fate'? I could decide to start including uncovered services, I know regular health checks can pick up any nasties and prevent them from being passed on although some STI unfortunately stay with you for life and can potentially make your sex life more difficult. My PSE has ropes, toys, candles, costumes. Share this article Share.|
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